A 50 year old back is no match for a centuries old rock
Shovels and slate rock mix like oil and vinegar
Sweat will take the path of least resistance
Despite oversize tires, tractors do not float
At times, a snake looks remarkably like a garden hose
A constantly crowing rooster tastes very good if marinated properly
The more in-depth your swearing, the quicker the pain goes away
NEVER attempt to use gasoline to burn out a chipmunk colony near the garage
Avoid at all costs mowing a dry dusty lawn on a breezy, hot sweaty day
It is ALWAYS a good idea to rent a Bobcat for any job
Remember, ordering mulch in bulk means you need to move said mulch – in bulk
Always remember to check the wood you are moving for ants BEFORE you play hoist it onto your shoulder
It is never a good idea to “eyeball” a distance when making a fence
If a tractor can’t do the job, reconsider doing said job
Weed-killer usually doesn’t
A lawn looks pretty green when it’s overgrown with weeds
Groundhogs are bulletproof
Never think you can gut grass that is taller than the tractor
The uglier the tree/weed/plant, the deeper the roots
In the game of rock, sledge hammer, knuckle - rock always wins
Occasionally poison ivy looks remarkable like a an ordinary weed
Sometimes the cheapest chainsaws lead to the biggest medical bills
A nail gun should not be the only tool you use
The distance from the garage is inversely proportional to the volume of the rain
It is bad “form” to nail yourself to a fence, especially in polite society
A cow patty and hamburger patty are NOT interchangeable
A pick ax and a queasy stomach at the sight of blood are never a good match
Uttering the phrase, “I know how to do it!” now, will haunt you later
A burn barrel next to an oak tree is a poor excuse for an insurance claim
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